I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
