and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
