ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
