yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
false alarm, still single
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
