Someone shit on the floor
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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