They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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