Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
