There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize