dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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