He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
