I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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