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I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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