He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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