WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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