I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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