It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
