if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
