I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
