the new term for farting is butt boxing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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