I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Girls should come with a carfax report
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
