the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize