Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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