you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
