My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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