this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
