Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize