Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Your cock deserves a montage
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize