Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
