why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
