it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
try to milk me bitch
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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