dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
