He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
