What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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