I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
