I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
