I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize