dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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