Me. At least after what I've been through.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize