I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
