Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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