The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
