Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
