If i come over, it means nothing
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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