You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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