yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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