i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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