you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
