some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
