lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
