Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
