I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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