i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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