its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
