What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My Higher Power is John Stamos
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
PANTIES FOUND
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
