i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
