operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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