seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My liver is preforming stress tests.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
