I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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