found the other keg... it's in the tree
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
