brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Damn victory sex feels great
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