last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
