if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I FOUND THE LEGS
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