I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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