Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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