she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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