oh god the rape fog is back!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
