I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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