Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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