she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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