Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
